counting calories !

kinda feel like this is some for of punishment ha, but it must be done. Im trying to be more aware of the foods i eat, and how good or bad they are for me. I feel i need to understand the science of it all before any weight will actually come off. I am never going to give up all of my fav. foods, so to Jillian Michaels im sorry but a plate of lettuce and salmon just wont do ! Im finding the hardest time for me to cut back is at dinner. I enjoy large dinners, especially once my kids have gone to bed and i can truly enjoy a meal in peace. I know your not suppose to eat in front of the tv, but thats me moment. Still trying to find the "right" moments to get in a good workout. Life always seems to be getting in the way!

Join me wont u...

On my weight loss journey ! Ive been struggling for almost 2 yrs now to get off the weight i gained during my second pregnancy. Ive allowed life's daily struggles to get in my way, but today im deciding its ooober important to Love Me !! So I will not gorge myself on sweets & wine, i will not put the kids to bed only to make a huge bowl of pasta and veg on the couch. I will make healthier choices, i will make time to exercise and make my body not only look better but feel better!

I am currently 171 pounds, at only 5'2 thats alot on my small frame! My goal is to get to 135, before my 30th birthday at the end of Dec. Any one with advice, or just simply words of encouragement id love to hear it :)

One day closer to the looney bin...

Some days i dont feel cut out for this job. You cant just be mom, you have to be Super Mom. And well some days just arent so super.

I woke up for the 4th or 5th day in a row with my eyes sealed shut with goop ! I started over the counter pink eye drops thought it would have helped but i guess not. I havent washed my hair in 5 days YUCK! I have at least 4 loads of laundry to do, clean dishes in the washer and two sinks full of dirty. Ive got an 18 month old who is well continuously pissy no matter what i do, toys, cartoons, popsicles, etc. And a Kindergartener who cried her way into staying home today! Ive got a dog who pooped in the playrm, shredded most of my bathrm trash, & keeps chasing the kitten. Ive got a husband with a big test today that i couldnt give a proper "Good Luck" to this morning, because i was already frazzled !

Hoping to get my "Super" back tomorrow , and if not , well thats just another day closer to the looney bin, i hear they have jello, i like jello...

How we came to be .....

...The Hodge Fab Four as a friend so lovingly calls us ;). Lets see if i can keep this short.

Boy meets Girl :

waaaaaay back in good ol 2003 sept. to be exact, a good friend of mine was moving away, & she was having a party to celebrate her departure. I certainly wasnt going in hopes of meeting anyone, i actually had a date but he bailed on me .. Enjoying the night, drinking and dancing, in walks in my middle school crush ( we were band geeks together) !!! Of course i blurted out a slurred "hey i know u". He just so happen to be a friend of a friend who got brought along to this party, & he was only in town one more night before returning to CA. He had just returned from his first tour of duty. I was hook line & sinker at that point, always did have a thing for guys in uniform!! We spent the whole night talking till the wee morning hrs before he had to leave for his flight! I thought well that was nice, but ill probably never see him again! In the following weeks, we spent every free moment we had on the phone with each other, near the end of Oct the Marine Corps Ball was coming up & he flew me out to CA to go with him ! That night he introduced me as the future Mrs.. The next day was Halloween & he surprised me with a trip to Disney Land. But before we made it there in our hotel i come out of the bathrm to find a shivering guy down on one knee with a ring in his hand! Well of course i said YES, i mean we hadnt gone to Disney yet had i said no i would have never met mickey! just kidding ;) I said Yes and meant it with all my heart. Fast forward 7 weeks later and we were married !!! I felt like a princess & gosh was he handsome in his dress blues, it was a magical day ill never forget.

ill continue how we came to be, more later i should have known i couldnt make this short ;)

testing, evaluations, & meetings oh my!

All in one day my 18 month old was being evaluated by first steps (our states early intervention program), & i had a meeting at my daughters school to review some recent tests & evaluations that had been done by her teachers and the school psychologist. To sum it all up, Griffin is severely delayed in language, and will begin speech therapy very soon! Im certain with in months he'll be yapping all our ears off. He also didnt score very well cognitively which was hard to hear but the evaluator thinks that was due to his inability to really focus his attention. And for Rylee she is apparently like one of the smartest kindergardeners ever haha! Her scores are off the charts usually a couple grade levels above ! She was observed for several days by two different school psychologist & with input from me & her teachers they have come to the conclusion that her diagnoses of Asperger's is correct. Its nice to have validation , to know others see what we do & that im not some crazy mom who makes crap up! But it is also hard knowing ur baby truely does have some special needs & will continuously need help in certain areas. They went on to say, even though she may not socialize as much as the other children , they all love her to death & jump in quickly to help her when she is upset or fustrated! That melts a mothers heart to know other little ones really do care about the well being of their peers. Good job other parents for raising such great kiddos :)

fuzzy earmuffs

anytime i wash my hair Rylee asks "where we going". smart girl she knows mamas not getting clean and decent just to play in the house ;). So i told her we'd be dropping Griffy off @ Nana's and then we were meeting Daddy at a new place. I paused i didnt know what to tell her . I started back up with "this place is going to help you". she says "oh are they gonna make my canker sores go away". ( due to all her anxiety & stress she has constent canker sores) She asked if they were a Dr. and i told her not exactly they were called an Occuptional Therapist, and we were going there so they could help her be less fearful of certain sounds. Ry says "yea the sounds scare me, maybe they can give me fuzzy earmuffs that could help"

bless my babies heart, i know this wont cure her , but i hope soon she can go into the back yard again & play like a 5 yr old should!

If anyone is more curious about SPD (sensory processing disorder) check out this site

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/SPD-symptom-checklist-for-infants-and-toddlers.html

pessimistic at heart

ive always been told to give people a chance but i merely need an hr or two with someone and i can tell if things are going to go well or not..

Today was our first meeting with a new child psychologist. i keep saying new because we used to see one a few yrs ago. Ok anywho, this is a super awesome facility in a great part of town so my hopes were high. First off she was way too soft spoken for me , i know that sounds stupid but i need someone lively and full of gusto to help me with my kiddo, she seemed sheepish.. I brought a video clip of rylee screaming in terror as griffin crawled closer. and she asked "If there was anyway she could be playing me" .. Oh man i kept my cool but i let her know she offended me and that Rylee doesnt have the know of to play someone, to pull a trick or to even be mean on purpose! She continued to apologize throughout the session and the more we told her she seemed to be getting a bit more closer to "getting" it. i dunno im not hopeful.. Oh yea and while she watched the video clip she dropped my camera !! An accident of course but geeze.. Oh if anyone is nosey or just curious and would like to see this video clip , just ask. I dont mind sharing so people can get a climps into my world of havinga child with Aspergers Anxiety & Sensory Processing Disorder..