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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

6 & still ...

NOT POTTY TRAINED ! I get it Rylee has some special needs but we never ever ever imagined she would still be in diapers once she turned 6. She will from time to time with much pushing go on the potty. But it never occurs to her on her own that maybe she should get up instead of soaking the desk chair as she did this morning! I know she was embarrassed & I try not to make her feel bad but i also want her to know that i am disappointed. But i also try to build her up allowing her to know i believe in her and know that she is capable of making this big step! Ive read so many books, on Asperger's, Sensory Processing, Anxiety ect. and ive yet to come across anything that can help in this area.

why wont the wall come down!

No weight loss yet, but only I am to blame. I have everything i need at my finger tips, i have a treadmill, a bike, weights, videos, etc. Yet Im not pushing myself. And i just dont know why. Because my hearts screams that i WANT this change but yet here i sit with a major wall built around me !

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

tears in my rear view mirror.. maybe that could be taylor swifts new song.. We are less than 8 weeks away to Rylee finishing up her Kindergarten year. And she has been very successful , but she has one big hang up. Getting herself out of the car & into the building. So most days their is an assigned adult to help Rylee get out of the car and into the building and on to class. Weve been trying to build up her confidence so that she knows she can do this all on her own just like the other kids. And today when i pulled up in front of the school and didnt see that "assigned person" i tried to pep talk her into doing this all by herself! She did open the door and step out, but began sobbing immediately as her feet hit the side walk. I felt awful , I try to be so positive with words of encouragement all the while i know i need to go on because there are tons of cars behind me waiting to pull up. Thankfully someone finally did come and shut my car door and got her inside. But its so incredibly painful to drive away watching ur child cry! I see some cars zoom around me in frustration of taking so long, but i wish those parents would for one second understand what im dealing with..

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

counting calories !

kinda feel like this is some for of punishment ha, but it must be done. Im trying to be more aware of the foods i eat, and how good or bad they are for me. I feel i need to understand the science of it all before any weight will actually come off. I am never going to give up all of my fav. foods, so to Jillian Michaels im sorry but a plate of lettuce and salmon just wont do ! Im finding the hardest time for me to cut back is at dinner. I enjoy large dinners, especially once my kids have gone to bed and i can truly enjoy a meal in peace. I know your not suppose to eat in front of the tv, but thats me moment. Still trying to find the "right" moments to get in a good workout. Life always seems to be getting in the way!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Join me wont u...

On my weight loss journey ! Ive been struggling for almost 2 yrs now to get off the weight i gained during my second pregnancy. Ive allowed life's daily struggles to get in my way, but today im deciding its ooober important to Love Me !! So I will not gorge myself on sweets & wine, i will not put the kids to bed only to make a huge bowl of pasta and veg on the couch. I will make healthier choices, i will make time to exercise and make my body not only look better but feel better!
I am currently 171 pounds, at only 5'2 thats alot on my small frame! My goal is to get to 135, before my 30th birthday at the end of Dec. Any one with advice, or just simply words of encouragement id love to hear it :)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

One day closer to the looney bin...

Some days i dont feel cut out for this job. You cant just be mom, you have to be Super Mom. And well some days just arent so super.
I woke up for the 4th or 5th day in a row with my eyes sealed shut with goop ! I started over the counter pink eye drops thought it would have helped but i guess not. I havent washed my hair in 5 days YUCK! I have at least 4 loads of laundry to do, clean dishes in the washer and two sinks full of dirty. Ive got an 18 month old who is well continuously pissy no matter what i do, toys, cartoons, popsicles, etc. And a Kindergartener who cried her way into staying home today! Ive got a dog who pooped in the playrm, shredded most of my bathrm trash, & keeps chasing the kitten. Ive got a husband with a big test today that i couldnt give a proper "Good Luck" to this morning, because i was already frazzled !
Hoping to get my "Super" back tomorrow , and if not , well thats just another day closer to the looney bin, i hear they have jello, i like jello...

Sunday, March 13, 2011

How we came to be .....

...The Hodge Fab Four as a friend so lovingly calls us ;). Lets see if i can keep this short.

Boy meets Girl :
waaaaaay back in good ol 2003 sept. to be exact, a good friend of mine was moving away, & she was having a party to celebrate her departure. I certainly wasnt going in hopes of meeting anyone, i actually had a date but he bailed on me .. Enjoying the night, drinking and dancing, in walks in my middle school crush ( we were band geeks together) !!! Of course i blurted out a slurred "hey i know u". He just so happen to be a friend of a friend who got brought along to this party, & he was only in town one more night before returning to CA. He had just returned from his first tour of duty. I was hook line & sinker at that point, always did have a thing for guys in uniform!! We spent the whole night talking till the wee morning hrs before he had to leave for his flight! I thought well that was nice, but ill probably never see him again! In the following weeks, we spent every free moment we had on the phone with each other, near the end of Oct the Marine Corps Ball was coming up & he flew me out to CA to go with him ! That night he introduced me as the future Mrs.. The next day was Halloween & he surprised me with a trip to Disney Land. But before we made it there in our hotel i come out of the bathrm to find a shivering guy down on one knee with a ring in his hand! Well of course i said YES, i mean we hadnt gone to Disney yet had i said no i would have never met mickey! just kidding ;) I said Yes and meant it with all my heart. Fast forward 7 weeks later and we were married !!! I felt like a princess & gosh was he handsome in his dress blues, it was a magical day ill never forget.
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ill continue how we came to be, more later i should have known i couldnt make this short ;)